A LABOR OF LOVE
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
My mother is staying with me right now. She is seventy nine years old, she has a blood clotting disorder, she can barely walk and is unable to make her own decisions anymore. It is so sad to see her in this condition, she was always so in control and so dominating. After three days of being here in Texas, her mind is clearer and she is getting along pretty well with a cane or her walker. I don't take any credit because only God could help her get better so quickly. And of course being in Texas would make anyone feel better. lol!
Right now, we cannot leave her alone in her own home, she doesn't remember to take her medication, blood thinner, seizure meds, etc. She sometimes doesn't know where she is and can give a good tongue lashing now and then. She thinks everyone is stealing from her and she gets confused sometimes where she is. She wants badly to stay in her home, so desperately I am trying to find live in care for her. I know she can't take moving from place to place much more, and she is not ready for a nursing home yet, that would surely devastate her at this point.
My sisters and I are sharing in taking care of her. She is with me for a week or more if she wants to stay, but she never does. Chuck and I work so we can't be there 24/7, so my stepdaughter Tamara takes care of her.
Tamara is a different breed, she usually gets on everyone's nerves, but she is like an angel sent from God when she is with my mom. She is gifted in being able to take care of the elderly. I could never be a nurse, but my sister Debbie and Tamara both should have went to school for nursing, it's just a natural thing for them. Not me! No way Jose. I can do what I need to and it is a definate labor of love.
Anyways today, I had a meeting so I had to leave at 9:30 this morning, I had to be at work at 2pm and I work until 11pm unless I have to stay over for an emergency situation, so today I was hardly at home at all.
No prob, Tamara to the rescue, she not only comes to sit with mom, she cuts and dies her hair, waxes her chin and eyebrows, tomorrow she is going to wax her armpits and legs, then on Sunday she will give her a manicure and pedicure. Now who does that? Only an angel sent from God.
It is truly an amazing thing to see this side of Tamara. She has always remembered any small infraction her dad ever had. I remember one time he asked her if he had ever done anything right at all. I wonder if it is because she feels needed that this side of her is so different.
I don't know really all the reasons why...but I know I am thankful to have Tamara and to know my mother is taken care of. I am also thankful to be able to sit back and see that sometimes we don't always see the other side of a person, no matter how we may perceive them, I guess everyone has their good and bad side. I tend to think I don't have a bad side, but I probably do.
I have made mistakes in the past and would do alot of things different if I had the chance, but I can't, so I try to do unto others as I would have them do to me. I try to show my children how much I love them and how they mean the world to me.
I am always learning something new, God is still teaching me and showing me I have a long way to go and a whole lot more to learn. So I continue to labor and if you have any spare prayers please send them up for mom and for my family, sisters and brothers, we can use a few extra these days.
Right now, we cannot leave her alone in her own home, she doesn't remember to take her medication, blood thinner, seizure meds, etc. She sometimes doesn't know where she is and can give a good tongue lashing now and then. She thinks everyone is stealing from her and she gets confused sometimes where she is. She wants badly to stay in her home, so desperately I am trying to find live in care for her. I know she can't take moving from place to place much more, and she is not ready for a nursing home yet, that would surely devastate her at this point.
My sisters and I are sharing in taking care of her. She is with me for a week or more if she wants to stay, but she never does. Chuck and I work so we can't be there 24/7, so my stepdaughter Tamara takes care of her.
Tamara is a different breed, she usually gets on everyone's nerves, but she is like an angel sent from God when she is with my mom. She is gifted in being able to take care of the elderly. I could never be a nurse, but my sister Debbie and Tamara both should have went to school for nursing, it's just a natural thing for them. Not me! No way Jose. I can do what I need to and it is a definate labor of love.
Anyways today, I had a meeting so I had to leave at 9:30 this morning, I had to be at work at 2pm and I work until 11pm unless I have to stay over for an emergency situation, so today I was hardly at home at all.
No prob, Tamara to the rescue, she not only comes to sit with mom, she cuts and dies her hair, waxes her chin and eyebrows, tomorrow she is going to wax her armpits and legs, then on Sunday she will give her a manicure and pedicure. Now who does that? Only an angel sent from God.
It is truly an amazing thing to see this side of Tamara. She has always remembered any small infraction her dad ever had. I remember one time he asked her if he had ever done anything right at all. I wonder if it is because she feels needed that this side of her is so different.
I don't know really all the reasons why...but I know I am thankful to have Tamara and to know my mother is taken care of. I am also thankful to be able to sit back and see that sometimes we don't always see the other side of a person, no matter how we may perceive them, I guess everyone has their good and bad side. I tend to think I don't have a bad side, but I probably do.
I have made mistakes in the past and would do alot of things different if I had the chance, but I can't, so I try to do unto others as I would have them do to me. I try to show my children how much I love them and how they mean the world to me.
I am always learning something new, God is still teaching me and showing me I have a long way to go and a whole lot more to learn. So I continue to labor and if you have any spare prayers please send them up for mom and for my family, sisters and brothers, we can use a few extra these days.
posted by Live, Love, Laugh | 4:24 PM
12 Comments:
LLL.....most definetly my prayers are being sent to you and your family.
How wonderful that Tamara loves being with your mom! So many young people have no interest or patience with the elderly.
God bless her!
I think that's great that she's providing in such a way for her. Sometimes people care when least expected because they feel a need within the other person that isn't being met. Like in her case pamphering.
When I first started working in the medical field as an assistant my first assignment was to work in the ICU. We had all sorts of people in all sorts of conditions, and it's amazing how quick that nurturing instinct kicks in. You see people in there close to death and the only thing that you can think of is that they remind you that it could be your family member in there.
There was this particular man named Sewanee (?) Matthews, ok I can't remember the spelling on his first name but that's how it was pronounced. Anyways, he was one of my first patients. The man was so sweet and caring and it reflected in his eyes. I used to spend hours in there doing little things for him because it was obvious that no one took the time out to do anything above and beyond the call of duty (which was sponge bath, meds, and vital signs). And I know that I mad an impact on him because I would often catch him looking up at me smiling, and seeing a few tears run down his cheek. I also know that when he eventually died that because of the little impact that I made in his life, that he died knowing he was well taken care of.
There are so many other patients that have touched me, but none have ever touched my heart like he did.
Everyone has a different gift. What a blessing that you have Tamara to help you out!
I'm thinking and praying for you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have an elderly parent to care for. I have seen firsthand how difficult it is (as I used to work in a nursing home). You're definitely in my prayers! Being a nurse, I know how it is caring for others. It's not always an easy thing, and sometimes it just boils down to you've either got it or you don't. But I'm sure you have some of it in you! You seem like you do.
msthang, I admire you so much to be able to give of yourself like that. I do believe you are right, there are times that nurturing instinct kicks in, I guess God put that in us so we have it when someone needs us most
The way your step-daughter is helping out proves that people are willing to contribute if they are given a chance. One never knows what situation will tap that unknown talent and allow it to grow. You are lucky, it is very difficult taking care of an elderly person.
I hope my children will care for me like this one day:)
I know you have it in you, the nurturing side, you've been there for me....always....Love you!
What a wonderful blog.
The sites that reflect values are few an far between so I feel like I've found treasure when I happen across one.
Keep up the good work...both on here and with your family.
Tamara sounds like she may feel as if she has been neglected in her life, and perhaps she relates to your mom's difficulties on that level. (not wanting her to feel neglected) At any rate, I think that people enjoy and are more willing to do things that they CHOOSE to do, rather than what may be expected of them.
It is difficult to see a formerly strong parent become weak. What a blessing that you have Tamara.
Mom - you don't have a bad side - puhlease! You are the best mom and the sweetest person I know. You always have the patience and the kindness of Job. Don't beat yourself up about Granny - beat her up instead! JK!
Love you!
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