Playing the Blame Game
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Recently I was confronted with a situation that caused a certain person in my life to play the blame game. Tell me, do you know anyone like that? No matter what happens, this person has to blame someone. It's never, well this is the problem or issue, and this is what we need to solve it. It is always whose fault is it?
Most of the time in situations like that, I am not a person who ever places blame. Things sometimes just happen that are beyond our control, when they happen, we have to take it in stride and do whatever it takes with the resources we have to correct the situation. You have heard me say before I am proactive, not reactive. I do not focus on problems, I focus on solutions!
This person I am writing about causes me a tremendous amount of stress. I am stretched like a rubber band in her presence, but she is not one of those people you can just cast out of your life and say no more.
I normally have a solution which I got from reading TD Jakes' book....Maximize the Moment....
in this book he stated when you have certain persons in your life who are draining you, it is your responsibility to correct the situation. You are to confront them, if they do not compromise, then cut them off. In the past, when it was a friend who was the instigator, I sometimes went straight from the confronting stage to the cutoff stage. lol! When I have had enough, I am ready for it to be over.
In this situation, I confronted the person and advised her it didn't matter who was responsible for not fixing the situation in the past. This thing happened and now we have to correct it as quickly as possible. This is the real world and CRAP HAPPENS! And when it does, we gotta clean up the mess!
posted by Live, Love, Laugh | 11:55 PM
8 Comments:
Applause, applause. I like the application of personal accountability. Nice job. You lead by example.
I so totally agree with you! I'm a "it doesn't matter how it happened, let's prevent it from happening again" person. People who lay blame and can't get past it drive me crackers!
Mom, you are so funny. I missed you for lunch today, I always look forward to your visits.
Hope you caught up on some sleep!
I had one of those days where I can totally relate to what you're saying. I can't cut this person out of my life (nor do I want to), but sometimes I get so wiped out mentally and physically from her visits, I shorten the length of time we spend together with a pre-planned exit. If things get ugly, I confront her once and move on. If she still wants to ramble, she ends up playing the blame game by herself.
Very good post. Great advice.
Very well said, and your timing is perfect. I just cut someone I cared about out of my life, having reached the point where I HAD to draw a line in the sand and walk away. It wasn't easy, and I figure it will be even harder -- at least for a while -- to maintain that separation, but I know I'll have a lot less drama in my life now.
I am not a fan of the blame game either and this was something I did not tolerate when I was running my office. Just fix it!
Excellent post! I found your through Shelley's blog, Confirm the Work of Our Hands. I'm adding you to my blogroll (if you don't mind)! I often find that when someone wants to "blame" someone for an occurrance it's because they think someone should "pay" for their actions, no grace given. But that's not how God reacts to us... His absolutely amazing grace allows us to see what we've done wrong and learn from it. Sure, there will be consequences, just like the ripple effect of the water when a pebble is tossed in, but we're given the opportunity to grow from it, not be buried under it. Thanks for the reminder ;)
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