I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
My recent outreaches have uncovered some things that I wasn't expecting. The boy I have been ministering to, just informed me he has gotten a girl pregnant that he doesn't love and doesn't want to marry. Then he told me they went to an abortion clinic and when they got there, people were outside whom he knew were Christians and they were saying don't go through with it, help is next door.
They continue to go inside and when she went to be checked, she found out she is carrying twins. So he couldn't go through with it. I was astounded. I knew he was struggling to tell me something and I said to him, "Just say it, whatever it is, it is killing you, so just tell me." When he did, I went blank. I just wasn't expecting that. Right now with all that is going on, he sure doesn't need this and the babies!!!??? The girl already has three children and is unmarried.
Finally, I just said, "why abortion?, have you thought about adoption?" I told him abortion is not the answer, there are many couples who would want the babies who can't have any. He said the girl didn't want to give them up for adoption. I explained to him the church will help him, they will pay all the costs and help to put the children in a christian home, so there are other options.
Earlier he was telling me he was thinking about getting back in college in January. I advised him he was putting the cart before the horse. I said first you need to look at your drug and alcohol addiction, your financial situation, and getting on your feet. College is the last thing you should be concerned with. Now this.....!!
He did tell me he thought this was a wake up call, that his life has gone from bad to worse and he didn't know what to do. I of course said, "yes, you know what to do. You know what is right, you have support, people who love you and you know the right thing to do, just do it."
So tell me do you have any words of encouragement or an answer for this kid, for some reason I was so astounded I was almost speechless. Pray he makes the right decision, I don't get too involved any more, I let him know I love him and I am there, but, I have made the mistake in the past of doing too much, it didn't help. I think I just prolonged his education, so now I am praying for him to listen to God and do what is right, for the babies, for the girl.
They continue to go inside and when she went to be checked, she found out she is carrying twins. So he couldn't go through with it. I was astounded. I knew he was struggling to tell me something and I said to him, "Just say it, whatever it is, it is killing you, so just tell me." When he did, I went blank. I just wasn't expecting that. Right now with all that is going on, he sure doesn't need this and the babies!!!??? The girl already has three children and is unmarried.
Finally, I just said, "why abortion?, have you thought about adoption?" I told him abortion is not the answer, there are many couples who would want the babies who can't have any. He said the girl didn't want to give them up for adoption. I explained to him the church will help him, they will pay all the costs and help to put the children in a christian home, so there are other options.
Earlier he was telling me he was thinking about getting back in college in January. I advised him he was putting the cart before the horse. I said first you need to look at your drug and alcohol addiction, your financial situation, and getting on your feet. College is the last thing you should be concerned with. Now this.....!!
He did tell me he thought this was a wake up call, that his life has gone from bad to worse and he didn't know what to do. I of course said, "yes, you know what to do. You know what is right, you have support, people who love you and you know the right thing to do, just do it."
So tell me do you have any words of encouragement or an answer for this kid, for some reason I was so astounded I was almost speechless. Pray he makes the right decision, I don't get too involved any more, I let him know I love him and I am there, but, I have made the mistake in the past of doing too much, it didn't help. I think I just prolonged his education, so now I am praying for him to listen to God and do what is right, for the babies, for the girl.
posted by Live, Love, Laugh | 9:58 PM
13 Comments:
I will be praying for the safety of those precious twins. I hope they make the right decision, and give a family the blessing of twins.
Be careful out there Dana! We just made it in to work, it's icy out there!
It sounds like your instincts are right on target, "Just do it." There is a lot to be said for "tough love", too. You know that some people will use you up and take you down with them. Pray.
This is such a difficult situation. I pray that the Lord will give you wisdom to help the boy.
It is the Love of Jesus that brings us to our knees. Tell Him that Jesus loves him even if the world does not. It sound like he hasn't been loved in a long time.Bring him to the cross and show him that he died for you. I know you already have done that I sure, but take him back again and Tell him again that you care.
I will Pray for you
Great words from forgiven...tell him that Jesus loves us even when the world does not. I do believe that with all that this boy has endured, this could very well be a blessing in disguise. True, he has many problems he should deal with and needs to, but maybe these babies will make him see that there really IS something better out there for him. Perhaps it will help convince him to sober up, be a better man, and eventually go back to school. Maybe now he will realize that other's lives, the lives of these precious children, are counting on him. They need him. And they love him. :) Let us know what happens!
Wow. Thank God this boy has such a wise godly woman in his life! I think you did exactly what the Lord would want you to do. And you're right, getting more involved probably isn't good. I pray for the Holy Spirit to work in his heart, and the girl's heart, and lead them to do the right thing.
I wish I had some words that would help, but all I can say is just give it up to God and let Him lead you. Just be careful not to become an enabler, okay?
Thanks for visiting my site the other day, Dana. My server has been down for 30 hours, so could not get back to you.
I always feel a 'listening approach' is a good one with most young people...then validate their feelings and thoughts, ending with, "I'm sure you will know what to do about this - I believe in your capability to love and exercise good judgment." That way, they will feel supported, empowered and not overwhelmed. It shows you trust that God, in his grace and mercy, will favor the discouraged, help the helpless.
I am so sorry for what he is going through. I know it is harder than one could possibly imagine. But I was the girl once. Years ago. But there was never any option for me as far as I was concerned. I put him up for adoption and have never regretted it. Yes, I think about him all the time. He would be 23 now. But I knew I could not give him the kind of life he deserved and I knew there was a family out there that could. I'm sorry if this is too much information, but to think that 2 babies may loose their life is heartbreaking to me. Feel free to email me if you like. I will keep them both in my prayers.
Wow, that boy is very lucky that's it's you and not me he's facing.
The last two young people that I knew of getting pregnant, the only thing I could think of to say was, "Well at least you got pregnant and not Aids!"
You will have to handle this, your way, but facing a young girl that is not married and has three children already is a big sign of trouble! She's pretty much set for the next eighteen years with welfare checks for five kids!
I'll pray for him!
God is big enough to handle this. God made those kids on purpose. He formed their DNA. He knows their names. He knows where they will be spending eternity. He knows the plans that He has for them - to give them a future and a hope. He saved their lives once already. God is big enough. Just keep encouraging the boy to walk step by step and pray day by day and moment by moment. Will all of his problems be solved? No, but God sees the big picture, and the most important matters. Now is challenging. But faith is what will last. Now is brief and almost over. Who knows what tomorrow holds? Will we all be here? But those babies are eternal beings that God created. And what that boy (Sammy?) believes today and does today is eternal. Gee, what a coinsidence. He just returned to God, and he has all that background of going in the right direction for awhile. Don't be overwhelmed. Just trust that God can take care of this. It isn't the first time that 5 kids were born to an unwed mother, or a father had to be responsible for his foolish choices. So she may not give the kids up, and he may need to raise them the best he can, and take some of the responsibility for the others also since they will look up to him, and he may have more to give them than their own fathers. Maybe God will call him to do just that and maybe he can do it. Perfectly? no. But with God he can do whatever God calls him to do. Remember the loaves that were multiplied as they were being given out? We'll just pray for God's wisdom be given to the boy. Don't be overwhelmed. Just a thought. Hope it is appropriate.
God Bless You!
you are doing the best you can for him right now...by offering unconditional love and support. He has to make the next step on his own. You're right in saying he knows what to do just do it. All you can do now is sit back and pray that he listens to God and makes that right decision.
I agree with the comment made by fts for you to becareful not to become an enable...I find myself in that postiion too many times by "trying to help" so much when I see someone struggling..they lean on me more than they should and it hurts more than helps.
I love the comment from "an ordinary christian". they said it best.
I'll be helping to pray with on this.
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