How Much Time Do We Have?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
When you've walked through the valley of the shadow of death
When you thought the worst was over and the worst is what was left
Some things He can't explain now, but by and by He will
Look up through the pain now, you will find Him Deeper Still
Deeper still you will find Him, deeper still than before
Deeper still goes the anchor, deeper still the ocean floor
Deeper still He has taught you, deeper still there is to go
Deeper still is the Savior, deeper still than we know.
I don't really understand the pain of life and death and why we have to go through it. Watching my mother suffer this week has had such a humbling profound effect on me. I can't seem to stop the tears, yet I know she will never have to suffer again when she enters heaven, but it is hard to let her go. The agony of not knowing too is almost too much to bear, day by day she seems to get weaker, then by His Grace she regains some strength. Still I have never seen her this way, so weak, so dependent on others, so wanting to tell me things, but not able to find the words. She is confused.
I have been exhausted, this is taking its toll, I don't like it, I don't want her to go through this. I have realized at this time, the things I haven't said, I ask myself if I communicated how much I appreciated all the sacrifices she made for us. Did I let her know I loved her? I realize how much we take for granted. The knowing that I could lose her any moment brings me to realize what is really important. I have spent the last few days letting her know how much I appreciated everything she has done, how much I love her, how I am am there for her.
She asked me to Pray for my sisters and brother, she said you are doing more than you think you are, she wants them in church, I told her I promise I will pray. It's in God's hands, only He knows how much time we have. I could go today, I am not promised tomorrow, she may be here six more months, or maybe one day, only He knows.
Thanks for listening!
posted by Live, Love, Laugh | 9:49 PM
18 Comments:
God bless you and give you peace.
You are experiencing one of the most difficult times in a womans life.
We bond so deeply with our mothers. We have spent our entire life using them as a pattern in which we have molded much of ourselves. Somehow we feel incomplete when they leave us.
I lost my mother nearly five years ago, and am slowly learning that those things I gleaned from her have become a permanent part of me. In that way, she is still with me. I miss her, but trust we will be together again, through God's promise, in that place where there is no more sickness or pain, and we will never again have to say good-by.
I will pray for you.
I am sorry to hear about your mothers suffering and the emotional trama that you are going through.
I imagine that at some point today somebody is going to come by this post who is going through a traumatic event and find encouragment in the strength the Lord has given you to make it through.
You may thank us who come here for listening but it us who should thank you for demonstrating how God is carrying you in this.
"The knowing that I could lose her any moment brings me to realize what is really important."
That is so true.
It is both a blessing and a hardship that you can be with her at this time.
My mother, too, is in her last days, and I cannot be there for her (although my sisters are).
We will pray for an extra measure of God's grace for your and your mother.
Dana, this post brought me to tears. You understand the things that really matter in life, such as the relationship you have with your mother. She did a wonderful job raising you and helping you become the person you are today, and I know she must find comfort in knowing you are there with her now. I pray that God continues to strengthen you and bring you peace, and I pray the same for your mother.
I qouted you from this post in a post I just put up. I hope you don't mind.
I know it's difficult. I remember when my mom was in home hospice three years ago. You will be surprised how this experience will impact your wisdom and discernment in later years. It helps me to remember Paul and Silas in tough times. Take care. I've read the book and it all turns out great. ;)
Thank you for putting things so realisitically, yet with such evidence of your dependence on the Lord. Praying for you and your mum and whole family right now.
Truly, you are honoring Him as you care for your mum.
My prayers are with you Dana. Death is hardest on the living. They are at peace and always with you.
Although I live 700 miles away, my mom and I are still very close. The one person that doesn't give up on me even when I give up on myself. I can't imagine going through what you are going through.
I pray for peace for your mother and strength for you (peace also). My God hold you in the palm of His hand. Feel His touch Dana, He is there...always.
I am sorry to hear about your pain,
When Jesus welcomes you mother home it will be your pain which lingers and not hers, she will be home. It is when we are weak that He is strong.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”
- Mary Stevenson
I hope you dont find this poem tacky but I felt it was appropriate.
MDM
After my sister's death, I tried to figure it all out- to no avail, ofcourse. Everyday, I think about death and it really makes me want to live my life to the fullest and be the best daughter to God that I can be. Still, the unknown is scary. And that, for me, is where trust comes in.
I am praying for you.
Dana, I am so, so sorry to hear about your mom and the pain that you are under. I just could not imagine! May God be with you and your mother, dear friend and may you feel God's peace and presence. Oh, I am so sorry!
Dana, I will continut to pray for you and your mother in these trying times. May God bless you both!
Yes, this transition will be beyond words, and evoke many feelings that cannot be expressed. I'm sorry we all suffer this agony with the ones we love, but it plants a seed which you will discover later. When it blossoms, watered with many tears, you will count this time as a gift. Help your mother to be brave.....and all of us give you our love.
I'm so sorry that your mother and you are going through this but I am happy for you that you are able to tell her how much you love and appreciate her. I'll be praying for you both. How humbling a post...yes, we can go this hour or in 50 years...only God knows. Thank you for being so open and honest. God bless you all through this hard time.
(Heavenly Father... please bless this child of Yours. Give her strength, peace, wisdom. Help her family [siblings, mother...] as they go through difficult times. Please send your comforter to her, to them. --Amen.)
Here is hoping things are well with you.
Haven't seen you around the blog world in awhile.
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